As Of right now I hate 95% if everything. That isn't to say that I will continue to hate the majority of thing later this week or even later tonight. I am just viablely(is this a word?) upset with tons of things. I need to go "away" for school. I can not stand being in such close quarters with my dad any longer, but going away is not an option at the moment. I am is disgust even more so with the idea of gay sub-culture. I am unhappy about our state of religious affairs. I am pretty much angry at all the things that are out of my control.
I am tired too, tired of excuses and waiting. Yada yada yada Scott's being emo.
I look back and think that I had such a great last summer. I think I was wrong. I pretty much hate what I use to be. And not just cause I was super embarrassing and lame, but because of my attitude of life. I was so negative and blind by the idea of being involved with others. I was consumed with my "friends" which were just really acquaintances(by the way they handled situations with the coming months) Yet I don't blame them. They have there own lives to live.
Yet the disappointment that I was left out sucked. It still sucks.
My social circle dwindles down more and more each day, I only call and hang out with one person. and I love her, and she is my best friend, so it's ok.
It is just the sad realization that I am not popular or funny or anything that I was.
and despite it being sad, it helps me see who I really am.
It could be worse. Everything happens for a reason. I am a firm believe in karma.
Things work out for the best, even if it doesn't seem to be the best at first.
So as I sit here ranting, I feel quite a bit better.
I only hate 85% of everything.